


The Kindness of Strangers

by Butterflyfish



Series: Getting to know Daryl Dixon. [7]
Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-11
Updated: 2016-03-01
Packaged: 2018-05-19 17:47:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 19,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5975821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Butterflyfish/pseuds/Butterflyfish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Abra comes across some strangers in the forest she's too intrigued to just let them disappear.<br/>As it's been so long since the last attack on the ASZ, the group decide to investigate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

I stepped forward, over the fallen branch, careful not to stand on the empty packet that may still contain noisy, crunchy, chips. 

I was sweating', my feet felt like lead, and all I wanted to do was run. But I didn't know this part of the woods, and running could be dangerous.

"Where'd she go?" I heard faintly behind me. My heart rate slowed and I stopped behind a tree and listened.

Heavy footfalls led away from me and I let out a breath I didn't realise I held.

"Must'a scared her. Poor girl looked like shit" the voices grew quieter, farther away. I frowned and looked down at myself. Covered in walker blood and mud and leaves where I'd fallen under an asshole and got covered in his shit when my knife accidentally sliced his guts open. When I could no longer hear the footfalls I turned back, and followed the three men who had seen me in the distance. Daryl would have stopped me, but Daryl wasn't here.

I don't know why I was so intrigued. They seemed like genuine men, they didn't chase me, but followed me slowly, sounding like they wanted to help.

Little did they know I didn't need it.

I noticed the clearing ahead, and stopped just inside the tree line. Tall grass obscured the men's legs and they seemed to float away from me. A car stood on the road a few hundred yards away. They got in, and drove off.

I watched a while longer before emerging into the clearing. The long grasses leaving a dampness on my legs.

Sunrise was an orange slash along the sky in front of me, and I noted that the group must have headed south. I turned back to the woods, and headed for home, the sun rising lazily behind me. The birds and bugs just waking up around me.

I liked that Daryl let me out on my own, finally. I missed the peace of me and the world before the world woke up. I did wonder at first if he followed me. But I always knew he was there, before, and now I couldn't feel him. This was my third solo expedition, and the first time I saw the strangers.

It would not be the last.

* * *

 I lay flat in the long grass, Daryl's hand firm on my back, holding me down. The car passed, but he held me there until we could no longer hear the engine.

"That the one?" He asked, finally letting me go. I sat up, early morning dew from the two foot high grasses clinging to my clothes, soaking through the knees of my jeans.

"Hard to tell. But I reckon so."

"Black Peugeot, three guys inside about 25-30" he noted, and I nodded

"Yeah, that's them. Pretty much everyday like clockwork." I looked at my watch, 7am. I stood, drying my hands on my thighs. "It's weird" Daryl looked thoughtful. He chewed his lip and looked at me.

"Could be lookin' for survivors" he said, "could be huntin' or lookin' for food" I shook my head at him

"Every day? No. What's up there?" I pointed the way the car had come, a long, straight and dusty road. He shrugged.

"Dunno. We'll go home n check a map when we're done here" I nodded, before looking at him, my hands in my back pockets.

"Ok. Just... Don't bring Charlie this way for a while, OK?" He nodded again, then stepped out into the road, facing the way the car had gone.

"Let's follow this awhile, see what we see" I hopped down the kerb and reached his side with a sigh. I looked around us, nothing but trees and long grass and the wide stretch of straight road. We began to follow the path of the car, not knowing who or what we'd find. 

* * *

 We walked a few miles before we turned for home. June was too hot for fowllowin' cars in the bright sunshine, n Abra was sufferin'. She never said so, but I could tell. Her head was dripping sweat, she kept huffin' n wipin' her neck with her bandanna.

The car had swerved for no apparent reason, and we studied the tracks.

"Something ran out" she said. She pointed at a scuff in the dust "they were braking before they swerved." When did she get so good at this? I hadn't noticed the small drag in the dust, the lack of tread tracks. She looked at me, standin' over her. "Honestly I get a real feeling they're good people, Daryl" but I shook my head.

"Don't get too comfortable with that idea." She stood up n shrugged at me.

"yeah. I know, I know but... This feels different" her instincts were normally pretty spot on, but I din't wanna risk anythin' on a whim.

"We'll just wait n see" I began walkin' back the way we came. "We'll bring the bike" I said to her "we'll work this all out properly before we go runnin' in blind."

* * *

 I loved going out with Daryl on his bike. 

Holding on tight, my arms wrapped around him in a hug he didn't have to feel uncomfortable with, more for closeness than stability. The scent of leather, oil, and cigarettes in my nose, the wind in my hair. 

It was like soaring through the air.

I once made the mistake of burying my face in Daryl's neck as we rode, and he almost dropped us both. So now, as sexy and cool as it felt, it was a sex free zone. 

I just stored up the feelings for later, the rumble of the engine between my thighs, the soft supple leather under my fingers. I Sighed against Daryl's back and he stiffened under my hands. 

Pull it back, Abs.

we began to slow, I looked over Daryl's shoulder and in the distance there were huge iron gates. Taller than those at Alexandria. 

"Woah" I whispered, I felt Daryl nod beneath me.

"Mmhmm. Looks like they wanna keep stuff out. Maybe people, too." I squinted through the distance as we pulled to the side of the road. I swing the pack across my back into my lap and pulled out a pair of binoculars.

"No" I said, surprised to find no posted watchers "they're not bothered about people" Daryl reached for the goggles and I handed them over. 

"Gotta have somethin'" he said quietly "pretty naive to have nothin' at all" I shrugged, my arms back around him so he could feel the movement.

"They're so lucky" I said dreamily.

"Nah, naïveté's dangerous. They ain't lucky, they're stupid" I felt myself frown.

"Remember what it was like not to be looking over your shoulder every five seconds?" I asked. "Like at the prison when life seemed, relatively, pretty simple" he shrugged, 

"look what happened there" he said simply, and it made me firm my mouth. 

* * *

I handed the binoculars back, n she looked sad n pensive. I dodged her eyes and faced front again, sorry I made her remember, but not sorry, too. We had to remember, it kept us safe, knowin' what could happen. 

She rested her chin on my shoulder n whispered.

"let's get a bit closer." N for a second I weren't sure if she wanted to snuggle up. I could've, the way she spoke, her breath ticklin' my ear, her voice throaty. 

But she hopped off the bike, lookin' for somewhere to hide it. 

"Here" she said, next to a small hole in a thicket of bushes. I nodded at her, turnin' the bike and stashin' it. 

"Ok, stay with me" I eyeballed her, n she nodded, lettin' me lead the way. "We'll edge round" I pointed at the few trees scattered between the derelict houses our side of the gate. "Stay in the shadows. They might be stupid, but on the other hand they could be really fuckin' smart. Y'understand?" She looked at me, nodded, n pulled her knife from its sheaf. 

* * *

 


	2. Chapter 2

We stalked in the shadows, sticking to the rear of the derelict houses. Crossing the borders from one to another, surrounded by tall grass, overgrown bushes, and nettles.  
As we got nearer, one thing didn't feel right. At all. 

"Daryl" I whispered, and he turned to me beckoning me closer. "Do you hear it?" He looked at me confused, listening, then his eyes widened as the silence struck him.

"In here" he said, kicking open the door we stood next to and diving inside. I hesitated before following not used to this lack of procedure. 

"We just rush into empty buildings now?" I asked as my eyes adjusted to the dimness. It was cold, almost damp.

"Ain't nothin' in here but dust" he said, running his shoe across the floor, making a clean spot. I looked back up at him, he was thoughtful.  
Eyes narrow and staring into the middle distance. 

"No town is that quiet" he said finally, watching from the darkness through a glassless window. I shrugged, though he wasn't looking my way.

"Could be having a town meeting" Daryl shook his head 

"What, the kids n animals too?" He looked back at me "we need to get up high, look over the walls" I chewed my cheek a little. We didn't have a topo map of the area. 

"We need a tall building, or a church steeple or something" Daryl nodded.

"Mmhmm, that'd do it." He turned from the window. "Let's get back to the bike, we'll take a scenic tour" the corner of his mouth lifted, but I didn't return the smile. I was so sure those guys were safe. Now? I didn't know. Daryl headed for the door, leaving footprints in the dust. I followed, sweeping his prints away with my feet.

* * *

 

I wheeled the bike a half mile out, It was no fun in the heat, n Abra had to keep stoppin', turnin back n waitin' for me. She was patient, din't complain. 

Sweat ran in my eyes n down my neck. I'd be glad to get on the damn thing n get rollin'. 

As she climbed on behind me, Abra made a soft noise, a hum. Then her hand was on my neck, wipin' the dampness away. A shiver ran down my spine at her touch, so soft n gentle. A complete contradiction to the world we were livin' in. I felt the grunt bubblin' up in my chest, but put a dampener on it before it burst outta my mouth. 

"Not on the bike" I said instead, n she slid her arms around me, pulling herself, her crotch, against my ass. I shook my head, smilin', n took us on our way.

We skirted the town, stayin' half a mile out, but we found nothin' of any use. I pulled over on an open green belt, if we went much farther we wouldn't be able to see nothin' anyway. 

Abra was lookin' around us, havin' got off the bike,'n I watched with interest as an idea formed behind those big green eyes'a hers. 

"The trees" she said, turnin' to me smilin' "we'll Climb a tree" I shook my head

"What're ya, 5?" She shrugged

"What else can we do? Huh? Creep up to the walls and look through?" She had a point. 

"Maybe we just go home n forget this shit" I answered her, she looked at me, mouth turned down, hands on her hips

"I don't do quitting" she said with a raised eyebrow. "Neither do you"

* * *

 

"You still believe people c'n be saved?" He asked me "still think people c'n be good?" He sounded bitter, angry. I couldn't work out why. 

"Yeah" I said without hesitation. He shook his head, jutted his chin at me. 

"Why?" I looked at the floor, dug the toe of my boot in the ground and looked up at him again

"I know we've been through some shit. I know you've lost your faith in people. But this can't be it." He cocked his head to one side. "It can't be" I continued, walking up to the bike. "There has to be more." I shrugged at him, reaching him now, I leant on the handle bars of the motorcycle, my face close to his. "We can't be the only good people left." He looked at me. In to me. Right to my very core with those navy eyes. 

"Tell me you don't think there are good people" he went to answer me but I stopped him. "There's more than just us." I whispered. "And we're gonna find them and we're gonna show them that there's good people out there still" I turned away from him, angry, wound up. 

It couldn't last.

I heard the sound of walkers behind us, there was a large building on the green, and the monsters appeared from one side of it.  
"They're the bad ones" I said, "them!" I pointed, but Daryl didn't turn, he continued to look at me, into me, through me. 

"Get on n shut up" he nodded at the back of the bike, and I could only oblige. I hugged him, caressed the leather on his torso, lay the side of my head between his shoulders, inhaling the scent of him. 

We were good, and good still existed.  
It had to.

* * *

 

I rode us back to where we started, planted the bike in the hedge and began the walk back the through the gardens. There was still no sound. 

"Maybe they all had to leave" She said soundin' hopeful "maybe they were overrun." But I couldn't hear the dead, neither. I put my finger to my lips n quieted her, we were close to the wall now, the last house out here just a foot or so away from the steel fence. 

The whole outer wall was painted blue. The paint was peelin', n completely gone in places, but the people who put these walls up painted them. That struck me as odd. Who had the time, who would be bothered? Even Reg hadn't gone that far in Alexandria n they were the most sheltered people I'd ever met.

I turned to Abra, she was shimmying ' herself between the wall n the buildin'. 

"What the hell ya doin'?" I asked her, making my own way through. It was tighter than I thought, with my crossbow on my back I was likely to get stuck. She looked at me, sly smile spreadin' on her lips, n pointed up. I looked up, saw nothin' n asked her again. "What the hell Abs?"

* * *

 

In reply I pushed myself as tight as I could against the wall of the house, lifted my legs, knees bent against my chest, and put the flat of my feet against the outer wall of the town. 

I looked again at Daryl before shimmying up, back pressed against the wood, feet pressed against the steel. It was hard work in the high heat of the day, but I had to see, I had to be sure this was a dead end before we moved on. 

Daryl was furious, I could hear him muttering and swearing, harsh whispers which didn't so much float up to my ears as jump up and harass them. I ignored him, concentrating on not falling down, not even thinking how I might get back on the ground. 

"Why're ya doin' this?" I heard from several feet beneath me, "why're ya so bothered about this?" I looked up, the direction I was going, and didn't answer. If he didn't get it yet, that was fine, I couldn't waste my time explaining now, 10 feet up and 20 more to go.

* * *

 

I watched her go, up too high for me to pull down before I realised what she was up to. I don't know what she expected to find over the wall, but it was eerily quiet. I din't think there was gonna be nothin' there, but she had her own mind n her own stupid ideas. 

All I could do was watch, n be ready to catch her when she fell down 30feet, or maybe be ready to pull splinters out her back if she was lucky n slid down instead. 

It looked like she wouldn't be lucky, as I watched, helpless to do anything, her foot slipped.


	3. Chapter 3

My heart all but stopped when my foot slipped. The mud I'd coated the toe with meaning it was a matter of time before I lost the grip. I caught my breath and pushed harder against the steel, shoved my back firmer against the house. 

Daryl looked worried, he'd pulled his crossbow off his back and flung it to one side, shuffling himself beneath me. I turned to tell him I was fine, I had this.

But an almighty clang caught me off guard, coming from inside the walls. It stopped my words in my throat, and made me jump, I lost my grip, what little I had, and I slid down between the wall and the house, scraping my back to hell on the way. When he could reach me, Daryl put his arm behind my knees and his hand on the small of my back, and lowered me down. 

As the clanging stopped the sound of people inside the walls hit us, a cacophony of sudden murmurs, and a tannoy or PA shouted tinnily 

"Great job everyone, great drill. Now, let's get back to work!" I looked at Daryl, who still had his hand on my back. He appeared as confused as I felt. 

"Church bells" he whispered, and I nodded. These people really were sheltered. He grabbed his crossbow and I led us out of the small alley we'd found ourselves in, wary of walkers, but ready, too. That noise may have been short lived, but it would have travelled. 

Daryl put his hand on my back and I had to suppress a squeal of pain. We needed to get out, the watch we hadn't seen could now be preparing themselves. 

They'd need to after the noise.

* * *

She inhaled sharply as I touched her, n I made a note of that n stored it away. Her back'd need cleanin', n de-splinterin' if we got home. 

If

I could hear the lumberin' footfalls of the dead fuckers already, not many, but any was more'n we needed. 

She looked out the alley, hiding against the buildin'. She looked back at me n beckoned me forward. 

Everythin' was upside down. She was in lead, I was takin' up the rear, she wanted to find new people n I really din't think that was a good idea. 

I din't have time to dwell on the reversal of roles, Abra bounced back into me.

"Walkers" she breathed, unstrapping her machete in a single pull at it. "About 5, you ready?" She looked at me, already breathing hard, n I nodded. 5 was fine, 5 was easy. But how many more would come to that clanging bell? How long would these people last makin' that noise?

It wasn't too much effort to down the walkers, slow, more interested in the noise they'd heard than us. We got through and ran to the bike, tryin' to stick to the shadows but the Sun'd moved n left very little in the way of dark hiding places. As we got the bike out she said.

"They are so naive" n I reiterated

"Naïveté is dangerous, even if it's all best intentions, stupidity gets you killed" with that I started the bike, stoppin' her from answerin' without havin' to shout, n we rode home.

* * *

 

We argued, like cat and dog, once we got in the house. Denise was happy to disinfect my back for me, and the tension in the infirmary was palpable. She tried to make jokes, we didn't acknowledge it. We thanked her for her help and left. 

As soon as the door shut behind us I turned on Daryl like a thing possessed. The sexual tension I could almost taste on the bike earlier was replaced by a red mist. He was still standing by the door and I stormed at him, into him, and backed him against the smooth, painted, wood.

"Hey" he grunted, but I wasn't ready to listen to him.

"Those people need our help" I hissed, fully aware that Charlie was at school and the house was ours. "They are in danger and we can stop it" I put my hands to my head "but you ride us away, you dragged me away like you always do." I looked at him, and infuriatingly he just shrugged at me, went to walk past me. I didn't let him.   
"What happened to you?" I asked, genuinely having no idea. "What happened to finding and helping other people being survival?" He looked at me, eyes narrower than ever.

"Move" he whispered threateningly. I stared right back at him

"Or what?" 

"Don't do this now." He was still glaring at me. I took half a step back, giving him room to move if he wanted to. 

"What?" I said, knowing he had more to say, willing him to say it. "What!?" I asked more loudly, as though he hadn't heard me. 

"They're past help, Abra. It's too much to try and save another town. All we've been through, all we have now. You wanna lose that for a bunch of stupid strangers?" I narrowed my eyes and frowned at him. 

"Helping people, having numbers, that's survival. Leaving them like sitting ducks isn't the answer"

"If they're sitting ducks, we're that much safer" he replied quietly. Dumbfounded I took another step away from him. He walked past me, headed for the kitchen, and I followed, angry and hurt. 

"That's so selfish" I said, as he stared out of the window over the sink. He poured himself a glass of water straight from the tap, ignoring the filter full in the fridge, as he always did. 

"It's selfish to keep your people safe? Our people. You? Charlie? That's selfish? Then fine. I'm a selfish bastard." He pointed at me "You're as naive as them if you think they can be saved, if you think they can be taught how to deal with the world" 

"Like the Alexandrians were?" I asked quietly, astounded by this odd change of heart. He turned to me, glass in hand, and shrugged

"That was closer to the beginnin'. Times change. Things change" I backed out of the kitchen, feeling my face burn and my eyes well. 

" _You_ changed" I said, looking at him looking at me. I turned and ran for the bedroom. When had this happened? When did he become so hard and closed? 

He didn't follow me. I didn't expect him to. 

I began to formulate a plan, chewing the inside of my cheek, twiddling my ring on my finger. Those people needed our help, and if I had to do it alone, then so be it.   
I changed out of my sweaty clothes and ran out of the house. Daryl barely looked up as I passed him, smoking on the porch. I ran to find Olivia, hoping to swap her shift tomorrow morning on the farm. I'd feed and muck out early if she'd let me. She preferred being in the stock room anyway.

* * *

 

We went to bed together. N when I closed my eyes she was wrapped around me like always. 

When I woke up, n she was gone, it din't dawn on me that somethin' was wrong. Not right away. I got up, made Charlie breakfast n Maggie collected him for school. Everythin' was normal and felt usual. She often went to the farm or sometimes out alone in the summer mornin's. Nothin' felt out of place.

Not until I saw her ring on the bedside table.


	4. Chapter 4

I felt ridiculous. I looked down at myself, the hotpants were a touch short, the tee shirt a touch tight. I pulled at the legs again,

"I'm dressed like a whore" I said to myself, imagining Rosita's horror at that, it was her outfit I was wearing. 

I was feeling quite uncomfortable but I wasn't too stupid to know how I looked. Daryl was right, I did have long shapely legs, and as he so eloquently liked to put it 'tits 'til next week'. He'd kill me if he knew what I was doing, but he wouldn't be awake yet, the sun was still hiding below the horizon. 

I looked at the scars on my legs, left by walkers an age before. On a day I swore never to go anywhere in anything but long pants. Another promise broken. This was a world of unkept oaths and broken pacts. 

I stood there, in the long grass, in the wide open green space where I'd first seen the strangers in their car. Another few hours, they'd be here, like they always seemed to be. 

The night was balmy, but I shivered, suddenly unsure of what I was doing, what I was trying to prove. This could go right, and Daryl would kill me, or it could go wrong, and I'd die anyway. 

I heard a rustle in the grass and turned sharply, but then the warm wind reached me and I relaxed. Just nature. Just a breath of breeze on a warm early morning. There was nothing here but me and the moon and stars. I looked again at the horizon. A green light had begun to glow there. The sun was on its way, so too would be the men in their car. 

I'd mucked out and fed the animals that morning in the outfit I was wearing. My legs and arms were flecked with mud. I'd made sure to find at least one creature to tear apart and was spattered with the blood of a rabbit. 

I felt a drop of sweat run down the curve of my left breast, exposed by the low cut v of Rosita's tshirt. Daryl would love seeing me like this, all danger and covert operations aside. I licked my lips at the thought of him finding me, dirty, sexy, and without panties. The hotpants left too much in the open for panties. 

I shook the thoughts away. I didn't want to be feeling all hot and bothered when they came. Shuffled the pack on my back so it was comfortable, and moved toward the kerb as the sun finally broke in front of me, a yellow flash now joined the blue green, and the birds began their dawn chorus. It felt like there was nothing crazy about what I was doing. If I didn't know better, this could have been any summer's morning in any world other than the one where the dead rose and feasted on the flesh of the living.   
I could have been right back at home with my fame and my family and my friends. 

That wasn't as far fetched a thought as it should have been.

* * *

 

I grabbed the ring and shoved it in my pocket, ran down stairs and out the door, headin' for the gate. 

"Who was on watch before sunrise?" I shouted up to the platform. 

"Good morning" Tara said sarcastically, n I really din't have time for her shit "I was, I'm on an extra few hours today" I glared up at her and she looked down at me for a few long seconds before she asked "why?" 

"When did Abra leave and which way did she go?" She looked confused

"I didn't..." she started, n I stormed away. The crazy bitch had climbed the fence so she wouldn't get seen. What he hell was goin' through her head? 

Rick n Michonne were leavin' their house as I stormed past it, both looked wary of me, my mood obviously written all over my face. Rick asked what the problem was, n I explained, briefly, about the community n the idiots inside. 

"Abra wants to help them?" He said before I got that far. I nodded

"Yeah. Thinks she c'n save 'em from 'emselves" Rick nodded, looked away to the gate and back at me, eyes narrow n head cocked to show his authority. He was 'bout to agree with Abra. I could read him like a damned book. 

"Well. We could, as a group. But she shouldn't have gone out there on her own" I emitted a shallow single 

"Huh" n shrugged my shoulders. "ya tellin' me. I'm goin' after her" Rick shook his head.

"No, we'll both go." He turned to Michonne and muttered somethin' I din't quite catch n she nodded. "Charlie at school?" He asked n I nodded "alright, Judith too. We'll let Maggie know we might be a while."

We hopped in a car, headed out the gate, and I lead him to where I expected Abra to be.

* * *

I sat there, on the kerb, pack on my back, dirty and hot and waited for the guys to show up.   
They did. Of course they did. They drove past, and I stood. I watched the brake lights come on, I watched them reverse right up to me. As they opened the car doors I suddenly felt stupid, and naked and very, _VERY_ alone. 

"Hey ma'am" one of them said as I backed up the kerb and crossed my arms over myself. Ma'am? What was this the '50s?

"You ok?" Another asked, holding his hands up as if to prove he was unarmed. He had dark skin, dark hair, dark eyes. If I wasn't so petrified, if the world hadn't turned to crap around my ears, and I hadn't made such a stupid decision this morning, he would have been seen as dreamy. I took another step back as he took another step forward, after a long look at my face he stepped backwards again  
Then a third and final man got out of the small black car. He was more my age, older than the other two, with blue eyes, long blond hair and a goatee.

I narrowed my eyes at him, but before I could say what I was thinking he said 

"Abra?" As I looked up I cursed the instinct to answer to your own name. "It is you!" He said, moving forward. He was one of the guys in my old band. Mikey-Jay, my drummer. He reached for me and I drew my knife, stopping him in his tracks.

"Things change, Mikey-Jay" I said, my voice as quiet and threatening as I could muster. He nodded slowly, put his hands up, but kept his arms by his sides. 

"Ok, I know, it's ok babe" my skin crawled at that. "Look, we got a safe place, showers, a doctor. Come with us, we'll get you sorted out" I didn't move at first, I just looked at each of these men, currently only known in my own head as pasty, dark, and Mikey-Jay. 

"Abra" Mikey-Jay said again, knocking me out of my own mind and back to the here and now. He held out his hand to me, and I looked at it a moment.

"How many walkers you killed?" I asked. He looked confused. "The undead ones. How many?" He shrugged. 

"I... I don't know" I nodded 

"And how many people?" He looked shocked, stunned. He dropped his hands and stood straighter. 

"None. Abra, no" I almost didn't ask why, Almost. It was clear why straight away. 

"Why?" I did ask though, I had to, for my own peace of mind. 

"Abra, you can't kill people. Then you're no better than them" I thought about it a moment, then nodded. MJ extended his hand again, and I took it. They seemed naive and kind and caring.

I'd be safe inside the walls, they'd be safe with me on their side.


	5. Chapter 5

I pulled the car up a metre or two back from where she said she'd seen the men in the Peugeot. I grit my teeth n got out, stormin' over to where Abra would'a waited. I din't wait for Rick. I could already see Abra weren't here, we'd missed her.

"They pulled up, almost missed her" I said, pointin' at the tracks in the dust. "They came back, n she got in the damn car" Rick was beside me.

"Ok. What do you want to do?" I looked at him astounded.

"Go n get'er n bring'er home" I huffed sharply. Rick shook his head.

"If they're that naive maybe storming in isn't the right thing" he put his hands on his hips and looked up the road.

"They're stupid, Rick, maybe we don't storm in. Maybe we break in n show 'em how stupid they are" he looked at me, one eyebrow cocked, n a look on his face that said that it wasn't the dumbest idea I'd ever had. I could see ideas formin' as his eyes went distant. After a long moment he nodded, n headed back for the car.

* * *

 

The first thing that struck me as odd was the fact that dark, I now knew he was called Roberto, jumped out and opened the gate from the outside. I frowned as he walked through, beckoning us to follow in the car.

The second thing that struck me as odd was what Mikey-Jay then said.

"We'll get you to the doc asap" I frowned at him

"MJ I'm ok, I don't need a doctor" he smiled a small glistening smile and answered.

"Sure you do, about the cuts" and proceeded to pull out a knife I didn't realise he had, and slashed several lines in my thigh. I drew in sharp breath as the knife bit into my skin.

"What the fuck?" I asked, suddenly realising I was the naive one. Daryl was right, and now I was possibly severely screwed.  
I went for my own holster belt, but Mikey-Jay's knife was instantly at my belly, the tip digging in painfully, but not enough to break the skin.

"Nuh uh" he said lightly, though it was clearly a warning. He pushed the knife a tiny bit harder and I breathed in as though to suck my stomach away. "It's just a little... Insurance, Abs, OK?" I just looked at him. I shook my head and felt my eyes widen

"You said you didn't kill" he nodded, still smiling a very threatening smile

"That's right. I never have. I haven't had to. Let's keep it that way, shall we?" He pulled the knife away. There was a small ragged hole left in Rosita's tshirt. I looked up at him, his narrow blue eyes and surfer boy hair. "Now. Let's get you seen to, hmm?" He raised an eyebrow before stepping out of the car, jogging around the back of it and dragging me out by my arm.

I heard the gate close behind us, but all I saw was the red rivers running down my leg. All I could remember was the last time that happened, and Daryl had saved my life by bringing me home.  
All I could think was that Daryl wasn't here.

Roberto and pasty approached us, pasty's name was Brian. He was the palest person I'd ever seen in my life. I numbly wondered what would happen to him when the sun cream ran out.

"We got a problem?" He asked, his deep voice belying his pasty and young look. Mikey-Jay shook his head, wrapping my ponytail around his fist.

"Nah we're good, right Abs?" I tried to nod, but couldn't. MJ laughed and got close to my ear "things change, Abs. Oh, how right you are" he let my hair go and pushed me forward. I looked around. It wasn't unlike Alexandria. New build houses, large enclosing fences made of corrugated steel.

But there was no one around. No kids, no adults. I chanced a look behind me, there was no one on the wall. But we'd heard voices, we heard people the day before.  
I went to fiddle with the ring on my finger. It wasn't there. I almost stopped dead where I stood. My ring wasn't there.

* * *

 

If Rick asked me again if I was ok leavin' Abra out there I was liable to snap.

"She made her bed" I said again, with a shrug. Rick looked at me earnestly.

"Just don't say anything you might regret later" n I realised he was thinkin' these people could be smarter'n they seemed.

"You think she won't come back" I said quietly, grippin' the steering wheel as we cruised to Alexandria, now visible in front of us. He tilted his head, one side then the other.

"I just think she pulled a classic Abra and run in a little blind" I nodded n loosened my grip. It certainly sounded like Abs.

"Yeah. Maybe. What's the plan?" He pointed through the windshield  
"Let's get home first. I think it's gonna take more than just me and you" I wanted to ask questions, wanted to know what he was thinkin' n why, but I waited. After everythin' we'd been through, even comin' to blows, I still trusted him.  
Even with Abra's life I trusted him.

Woodbury was mentioned. Glenn n Michonne looked at each other, Tara had an idea what that meant, she'd met the governor, too. I shook my head.

"They were barely freakin' adults that took her" I said "nothin' like him. He was..." I stopped as Rick was looking at me, his eyebrows raised.

"She went to them, she wasn't taken" I shrugged, I was gettin' the feelin' it was the same damn difference. Everythin' had been upside down just recently. That wasn't lost on me, no matter what no one else thought of me, I wasn't stupid.

"She thinks she's Savin' 'em" I shook my head "I think she's gettin' herself in whole world'a trouble"

"Do we really want to run in blind. Again?" Michonne asked. Rick said no. Not blind. Explained what me n Abra had found, said maybe we could stake them out a while.

"How long?" I asked, frustrated "can't leave her there not knowin' what they could be doin'" I pointed east, the direction of this freak show community "She's gone with the best intentions but they could be usin' that against her" Rick put his hand on my arm n lowered it.

"I know, we're gonna get her back, but we have to be smart about this. We don't have to lose everyone over this"

"But maybe just Abra?" I accused. He didn't answer, just avoided my eyes.

He put his hand out in front of me, a calmin' gesture. But I shook my head and stepped back from him. I was calm. For now.

* * *

 

"So" Mikey-Jay said as the doctor, Justine, tended to my leg. "Where's your group?" I looked up at him and shook my head.

"There isn't one" he laughed at me, actually _at_ me.

"There is. I know you. You'd never last this long alone" I shrugged as the doctor finished off the stitches, the cuts didn't seem that deep.

"I was with Ben" I said nonchalantly.

"Your brother?" He raised his eyebrows "please he was more of a girl than you are" I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Where is everybody?" I asked to change the subject. "This is a big place, can't just be you guys" he looked at his watch

"At lunch. Come on" he said, taking my arm and leading me away as the doc sat back from my thigh, finally finished. "I'll tell you about what we do in the way"

We walked outside, into the unrelenting sunshine.

"Everyone here gets a house, their meals and their water for a small fee" he said, and indicated a huge vegetable garden "they grow the crops or stand in as our doctor, they cook or clean... It's a big circle" we came up to a pair of double doors, which he swung open with great flair. Inside was a cafeteria, where over a hundred people sat and ate lunches of salad and fries and sandwiches.

to me, it looked like the cafeteria in a prison.


	6. Chapter 6

Mikey Jay looked at me, the tour of the town finished with. The cafeteria, the library, the school, a vegetable plot. There were no animals. He told me that they hunted everyday, for food, so the kids wouldn't get close to the animals and then have to eat them, but also to find new people to expand the village.

"You have a lot of people." I said to him. "Do they all realise they're working off a debt?" He smiled and nodded at me, putting his arm around my shoulders. I went for my knife and stepped away again. "Please don't" I said.

"Ok. But don't make me take your weapons away! You're much more nervous than anyone else we've found I can tell you. More wary. You have... Crazy eyes" I shrugged at him.

"You would too, if you'd seen what I have." He nodded at that.

"We've lived here a long time, and we don't get many, what did you call them? Walkers, we don't get many walkers around here. I like that" he smiled at me "come up with that all by yourself or was it one of Ben's?" I shrugged at him, not wanting to talk like old pals with him. He and I had both changed. It had been a very long time.  
"Well," he said "to answer your question, yes. Everyone works here because they want to stay. Everyone has a job to keep them busy, and they need feeding and watering so we feed and water them. I like to think it's not so bad that they want to leave anyway. It's safe, it's like the old world." I chewed my cheek.

"But you tell them when to eat. When to sleep, too?" He smiled at me and tried to put his arm on my shoulder again.

"Abbey" he said, a name I hadn't heard in a long time "people like structure. I have chefs here, people who cooked before who offered to cook again. Why wouldn't we use them to the best of their ability?" I looked at him for a long time.

"When do the cooks eat?" He smiled at me

"When the cafeteria empties. Like they would at a school" We walked, finishing the whole perimeter of the town, ending up where we started at their infirmary. Everything he said made sense.

So why did I feel so uncomfortable?

My instincts rarely got the better of me, and I have to admit I liked being on edge little. It reminded me that I had been out in the world and wasn't a sheltered, naive, little sheep.

Two young women walked past us, about 20 years old. They walked fast, didn't speak, and didn't have weapons. I stored that nugget of information away.  
Maybe they didn't have them when they were found. After all I had been allowed to keep mine.

"Some people feel safe with a knife" MJ said beside me "some with a firearm. Some people feel safer with neither." It was like he'd read my mind. It made sense. If they were so sheltered, they'd want a life like before, where people didn't walk around with weapons and fear constantly around them.  
That wasn't me. I liked having my gun, machete and hunting knife to hand. I liked to be afraid because that was what was real now.  
"Now" he said, turning to face me, voice still light and chatty. "You need to work off the stitches we gave you." I narrowed my eyes at him.

"You cut me for _insurance_ and the slashes were barely skin deep" he shrugged.

"You had stitches, and bactine, and time with the doc _that_ needs paying for." He put his hands in his pockets and shrugged again "we need to replace it all, and as you know it's not safe out there. You owe us." He stroked his goatee, looking far away in to the distance. "Now if I remember there was something you were very good at in the old time. Very very good at" he looked back at me, and his eyes were ablaze. He looked me up and down and bit his lip.

I didn't think he meant my singing.

> Yeah, ok. I had been sleeping with him. It was stupid of me, I knew that even as it was happening. But the road was so lonely, touring was fine when you were working but when the music stopped... We had options, drugs, drink, clubs but none of that was really what I wanted. When the fans stopped cheering and went home I felt so hollow and alone.  
>  MJ was there. MJ was a trusted friend.
> 
> Was. For a while.
> 
> Of course he turned out to be an ass and threatened to reveal all to the press after an alcohol fuelled argument about whose room I'd be sleeping in one night. That was on the last tour. In Georgia. Right before I left and went home to my mum and Brother in Albany. Right before the world went to shit and I was sure I'd never see his stupid face again.

"I'm not going to sleep with you" I said, shocked, I moved away from him but he grabbed me and pulled me close again. His hand gripped my arm in a not unfamiliar way, and as I looked at his dark blue eyes and wiry facial hair he could have, for a short-lived moment, been Daryl. I shook my head but Mikey-Jay was talking.

"Don't make a scene, Abbey" his voice was quiet, rough. "Sleeping with just me won't be enough. I have two cohorts who are even more hard up than I am." He laughed, loud and clear and dropped my arm. His face changed from threatening to open and jovial. "C'mon Abra, I'm not that much of a dick" he trailed off, giggling to himself. I chose to disagree with that. "Come with me and I'll show you what you can do for us, you can pay off what you owe and then the choice is yours if you stay or go" I narrowed my eyes, but followed his lead. Free to go... And yet no one left.

I watched the people we passed, the workers in the vegetable plot, the people mowing lawns and emptying bins.  
No one really spoke. No one was even smiling. It was creepy, and didn't feel like freedom at all.

* * *

 

We packed a car with weapons n ammo, smoke bombs n flares, just in case, we also took food n water. Rick, Michonne, Carl, n me headed out under cover of darkness to stake out this place. The houses outside may have been nothin' but shacks, but we could probably set up in one if we were quiet. We'd stayed in worse places. N if the residents of that stupid place really din't have watches we'd be fine. If they did I couldn't see it bein' a problem. We got in to Woodbury ok.

I tried not to think 'bout that. 'Bout Merle n what happened. Was one'a the last times I saw him, n it din't end well. Any time with him din't end well. I hoped this would. Regardless of these people bein' good or bad, Abra shouldnt'a been there.

I was pulled outta my thoughts by Rick patting my shoulder

"You ready?" I nodded at him, checking again that Abra's ring was in my pocket.

"Yeah." I looked up at the clear sky, the stars and waning moon. I weren't ever one for all that romance shit, but I knew Abra was probably doin' the same, n maybe she was thinkin' of me too.

"Hey, shooting star!" Carl called, also lookin' up. I'd seen it, shootin' from East to West across the sky, I looked across n he was smilin'. Even at 20 the shootin' star made him happy. N I thought, maybe this would go well. Maybe they'd be good people, n Abra'd be ok, n everythin' would be fine.

I smiled right back at him n we piled into the car.

 


	7. Chapter 7

"I've been outside. I can go on supply runs, I can hunt, and I can recruit. I really don't think you've thought this through" I stood with my hands on my hips, facing Mikey-Jay and his cronies, Brian and Roberto. They shared a look and looked back at me all at once, with the same pitying expression.

"You have your options, Abra. This is what we need done. You can check the weak points in the fence, you can help with the stock taking, or you can help with the harvest. It's busy on the farm this time of year" I looked at Brian. I felt he had no right to talk to me, to even acknowledge me. I looked instead at MJ, regardless of him being an idiot, we had history. "There is another option" He said and I dreaded what would come next. "Look, you need somewhere to stay, nights coming, stay at my place tonight, sleep on it, and we'll talk some more tomorrow" I narrowed my eyes, this was not ideal

"I'd rather sleep in the street" I said, gesturing to the pavement. At least then I'd be with someone I trusted here. Me. But all three shook their heads in a synchronised movement.

"Can't have that. It'll freak people out."

"What's the other option, then?" I asked, a whine to my voice I couldn't control. Mikey-Jay smiled at me

"Just come to mine, sleep on it, will converge in the morning. I'll sleep on the couch" I shook my head at him, there was no way I was going to end up 'owing' more than they thought I already did. I looked around, darkness was starting to settle. I wondered what Daryl and the others were doing. If they'd come and find me, or if they'd let me lie in this ridiculous bed I had made for myself. I chewed on my cheek a little. I'd need somewhere to stay.

"I'll sleep on the couch" I said, "ok?" Mikey Jay seemed OK with that. He grinned and led me to his house.

It was a house, I almost expected an apartment.

"All to yourself?" I asked "The whole place? Isn't that a little selfish, with all these people living here?" I put my hand on the strap of my bag as the door shut behind me.

"Do you remember the last thing we said to each other Abra?" I heard as I took in the room. Dark wood floors, highly polished, nice new furniture, barely a thing out of place. I shook my head. We'd argued, I remembered that much.

"No" he chuckled and came up beside me, though he seemed to have learnt something about me and kept his hands to himself.

"We said we'd see each other in hell. Well, here we are. Demons and all." I had to smile at that. He moved forward and gestured to the couch. "I'll get you a blanket." He ran up stairs and I put my pack down, sitting on the couch and looking around feeling awkward. Maybe he was just keeping his own people safe.

It didn't feel so bad right now.

He came back down, comforter in his arms. He dropped a corner and almost stumbled over it, without thinking I jumped up, as though to catch him if he fell.

"I'm ok." He said smiling down at me and watching his feet for the last few steps. "There." He handed it to me and scratched the back of his neck as though he felt awkward in his own home. I put the blanket on the arm of the three seater and shrugged at him.

"So." I said feigning a smile. This was weird. I knew him, and I didn't, all at once. I owed him and I didn't. He'd been so cruel to threaten me but now offered me a place to sleep. I was confused, and conflicted.

"Yeah. Look, I'm sorry about your leg. And I'm sorry that you have to work off what you've used... It's just, everyone has to be treated the same... You can't just use someone else's supplies and go, not anymore." I nodded. It was true.

"That's fair enough, but I still don't think I needed these stitches." I gestured to the bandage on my leg. Far too much fuss and nonsense for a couple of flesh wounds. They stung, but I'd survive.

"But better safe than sorry, can't take chances with cuts in a world where rotten flesh is the norm, and antibacterial creams are hard to come by." I looked at him, frowned,

"Better safe than sorry or better IOU?" I asked, my eyes narrow, he smiled. I didn't like that smile. It was kind of creepy, all shiny white teeth but not reaching his eyes. "What was option four?" I asked, honestly intrigued, and wanting to change the subject a little. But he shook his head and waved a hand at me.

"Later later, we can worry about that in the morning." I narrowed my eyes at him, still not sure I wanted to hear the answer. "We've not had dinner" he changed the subject, but I shook a hand at him

"No, I'm ok" I didn't want to owe them anything more. I gestured to my bag "I have a few bits and pieces, I'll be ok" he nodded, thoughtful, looking at my pack and then back at me.

"I really am sorry Abra." He said, solemnly, then took to the stairs.

I sat on the couch after watching him go. What an odd thing to say I thought, untying my boots and slipping them off my feet. I lay down, using the blanket as a pillow. I thought about the townspeople I'd seen, the miserable faces, the lack of conversation. When Daryl and I had been here just the day before there was a whole range of murmurs and chatting, after that stupid bell went ringing away. Maybe if I picked the right job to pay my debt I could speak to some of them.

I put my hand to my head. I didn't owe these people shit, what was I thinking? Pay them back for the cuts they gave me? They owed me those damn stitches.  
I wondered if Daryl was here, or planning to be soon. I wondered who was looking after Charlie and if he'd kicked up a massive stink about it. Since the whole Carol thing he'd not been keen on Daryl or Me leaving him. What sort of awful mother does this? She was right, I wasn't very good with Charlie, I should have been at home with him.

My stomach rumbled, but I didn't feel like eating. I rolled onto my side and fell asleep. My last thoughts of Charlie, and Daryl.

* * *

We holed up in a house just a few doors away from the one Abra had tried to climb. We'd walker the perimeter, n Abra was spot on about no watches. Nothin' at all. Not that we saw.

"No one on either side of the gate, the gate opens from inside and outside" Michonne said, the last to get back to us.

"Yeah, no one on the wall anywhere" Rick said, soundin' confused "these people must be so sheltered, more than they were at home" I nodded. At least Alexandria had someone on gate duty, n a gate that could only open from the inside.

"We could walk right in" Carl mused with a bewildered smile "just like that"

"Yeah." Rick agreed. "And it's silent inside, like everyone has already gone for the night." He leant forward. "They could have people inside the fences though. This could just be for show" I'd thought that, at first, but now I was wonderin' if Abra was right all along, n these people were just dumb.

We feasted on veg from our little farm, n went to bed down for the night. I sat awake a while, twiddling Abra's ring on the tip of my pinky finger. I wondered why she took it off.  
Maybe she was still mad at me when we went bed, or she din't want these people to know she had a group. I watched the diamond twinkle in the little light the moon let in, still bright n sparklin' despite its age. I chewed my lip, still not sure if she was bein' really smart, or really stupid.

I could understand why she wanted to help people, but these people were settled n were doin' OK. They din't seem to need much help. There were people out there alone who needed findin', n though I din't wanna risk my shit outside anymore, havin' lost more'n enough so far, I guessed there could still be good people.

I put the ring back in my pocket and leant my head back, against the wall. Maybe Abra just needed me on her side, n she'd stop doin' this crazy shit she liked to do.


	8. Chapter 8

At first I wasn't sure if I was dreaming. I could hear radio static, voices, more static. I woke up, but kept my eyelids lightly closed. It was dark in the living room, I was cold on the couch. I could hear rustling, metal on metal, and intrigue overtook my instinct to play dead. 

I opened one eye a millimetre. Mikey-Jay was crouched on the floor, leaning over something. I shut my eyes as the static and voices rang out again.

"People, outside" I made out, amongst the rustling and white noise. "What d'you wanna do MJ?" 

"Where?" He whispered into the radio he held. 

"Say again" came the answer. They couldn't hear him, trying to be quiet while he rifled through my things as I slept. 

"What are you doing?" I asked, loudly, making him jump and turn to me. 

"Abs!" His eyes widened. He held a can of fruit in one hand and the radio in the other. I stood up, one fluid movement from where I lay on the three seater. I put my hands on my hips and scowled down at him in the dim light. 

"What are you doing?" I asked again "Are you stealing from me?" He took a second and composed himself, also standing. He narrowed his eyes 

"I have a situation outside to deal with. We'll talk later" but I shook my head. 

"Your situation will wait. I might not. Why the fuck were you touching my stuff?" 

"Why do you have a flare gun?" He countered. "To attract your people?" I rolled my eyes and took a step forward. 

"You don't get to ask questions when you've been caught red handed!" I put my hand on my holster, curled my fingers around the handle of my girly pink knife. He pulled a gun from the back of his pants and pointed it at me. 

Shit.

"Hands up" he said. I glared at him.   
"MJ.."

"Hands. Up." He said again, and I sighed, putting my hands up, elbows still at my sides. "All the way" he growled, so I raised my arms. He approached me, hands instantly at my waist, pulling my belt off with one hand, in one movement. He threw it to the side and it hit the floor with a thump. I kept my eyes on his, refusing to show him any emotion. If he was at all the MJ he used to be, I knew him well enough to keep myself at least alive. 

"I think I can ask the questions when I'm the one with the gun" he leered at me. "Those people outside, they with you?" I stared him down.

"No" I said, my voice surprisingly strong even to me. 

"Why do you have a flare? To call your people?" He cocked his head at me with the question. I continued to stare him down

"No. It's to draw walkers away. They're attracted to the light" He narrowed his eyes at me and put the gun to my forehead. My breath caught, and he smiled at me. 

"No. No one can survive alone out there. It's impossible." He looked thoughtful and angry. "There must be people. People with stuff. Stuff me and my people need" I frowned at him.

"That's how you survive? By stealing off people already established and doing well?" He pushed the cold steel of the gun into my skin and gritted his teeth

"That's right. You've been out there, you know. It's too fucking hard Abra, we can't provide for a hundred people by doing runs." He pushed me and I fell to sitting on the couch. He climbed into my lap, mounting me, gun still pushed hard against my head. "Have you ever seen them group up?" His face was scared, wide eyed, like he was reliving it. "I mean, hundreds of them" The blood was running back into my arms, and they tingled with pins and needles. I had to eke this out a little longer, so I nodded.

"Yeah. It's awful. I've lost some people like that. Friends." He narrowed his eyes at me, and the gun slackened from my face.

"You know nothing. You don't know what it's like! I lost everything because of those dead bastards. Everything!" He pushed the gun into me again, and yelled in my face, covering me in spittle. I tried not to look disgusted, I tried to empathise as the feeling rushed back into my arms.

"We've all lost, MJ." I said. "Look at my hand, see the tan line on my ring finger?" He glared at me a moment before taking my left hand and lifting it to his face to see in the dark.

As he did so I punched him, lopsidedly and weakly, but I knocked him off balance, catching him off guard. I lifted my legs and heaved him off my lap, standing at the same time as he tumbled. His radio crackled again

"MJ, what do you want us to do?" But he ignored it, standing and heading to retrieve the gun that had flown from his hand in the tussle. 

I kicked it away, reaching for my machete and tried to rip it from my leg. I struggled for a moment before looking up to see where he was. He wasn't in view, but regardless I continued to pull at the machete. As it finally began to free of its straps I heard him breathing heavily behind me. I swung around, and his nose was practically against mine. 

"Bitch" he said, before smacking me in the side of my head with my own handgun. I fell to my knees, and he hit me again. "I need your stuff!" He yelled as I covered my head with my arms, hands clasped and my own fingernails digging into my skin so I could focus on something other than the dizziness, and keep myself awake. 

"There's nothing" I said, as he panted close to my face, now also on his knees. "Just what I have with me." He grabbed my hair and dragged me to my feet. 

"There's no way you survived alone, Abra. And until you give me the answers I'm looking for, we'll have to come to another arrangement." He wiped at his face with the back of his hand and smeared himself in my blood in the process. He turned and dragged me toward the stairs.

I heard my machete finally loosen itself and drop with a clatter to the floor. I was suddenly weaponless, my gun still in MJ's hand, my knife and machete on the floor. 

I began to struggle, and to scream, as he dragged me up to his bedroom.

"MJ" the radio crackled from the floor. "Mikey, if you can hear us we're moving in on these people"

* * *

 

I woke with a start. It was still dark, the moon had moved across the sky and was now shining in the opposite window from where it was when I fell asleep.

I sat up, looked around. Rick and Michonne were awake, starin' at each other across the room, some silent communication between them. 

"What?" I asked, goin' to stand, but Rick turned to me and put a finger to his lips, turnin' back to face Michonne. I listened, hard, and heard the high pitched scream that must've woken me up come again, from beyond the walls. I looked between Rick and Michonne, and Michonne narrowed her eyes at me.

I went to stand again, but she stood before I could get that far, fluid like a cat, and had her katana from its sheath. It pointed at the floor, but the message was clear.

"Wait" she said, her voice rough and serious. That was when I knew for sure, those screams were Abra's. I shuffled my feet, wantin' to run in, wantin' to do the right thing. I breathed heavily. Rick held a hand out to me, a stay command. 

"Stay with us" he said "can you hold on?" I thought, for less than half a second, n nodded at him. I could wait. We'd work this out. I noticed now that Carl was awake, peerin' outta the window closest to the steel fences.

"Shit!" He said, duckin' down below the empty frame, "incoming" we all ducked down as the missile flew over Carl's head, landed on the floor and began to hiss as smoke poured from the canister. 


	9. Chapter 9

"The stairs" Rick yelled, grabbing Carl from the floor n headin' that way. I wondered if they'd hold, if the first floor was as old as it looked. But smoke fizzed outta the grenade, n the time for thinkin' was over.

I took the stairs, three at a time, behind Michonne. I headed straight for the room with a view of the community, the others spread out to check all the windows. Smoke poured from the building but everything was deathly silent, Abra had stopped screamin', which could be good or bad. "We know you're up there" voices rang from beneath us.

"Might as well come on down, we got you outnumbered" Rick, by the stairs, looked at me n I shook my head. If they wanted us, they'd have to come get us. I had a feelin' we weren't outnumbered, either. We'd'a heard more'n four come in. I looked outta the window again, there was no one I could see, but smoke was still billowing outta the glassless Windows and floatin' into the moonlight, makin' it seem a much darker night'n it really was.

"Daryl" I heard behind me, Rick's drawn out drawl. I turned to him, and he was expectant, waitin' on me to make the decision here. I shook my head,

"No more'n four of 'em" I said to placate him for now. How many were there? I din't know. Abra tried to enter my head again, but I couldn't let her in, couldn't be distracted. Not now. With Rick's eyes on me, his faith in me to get this right. If I got this right I'd be doin' right by her, too. At least, that's what I told myself.

"I ain't goin up there" I heard quietly from below, a scuffle between the guys who'd stormed in. If they weren't focussed, we could take 'em out a lot easier. I looked at Rick, he looked at me right back, n Carl n Michonne came back to the stairs. "One of them had a damn sword, Rob, a sword! I ain't goin' up there" Rick raised his eyebrows at Michonne, and she gave him one hell of a smile. We were all on the same page.

"We're not comin' down" Rick yelled. "You'll have to come and get us" there was no reply for a while, a minute or more. We waited, breath held for as long as we could, all listenin' for some indication of their actions down there. Then the crackle of a radio.

"Roberto, Brian, ya there?" They replied almost instantly.

"Yes, we're here" More static followed, then a deep and heavy sigh

"You gotta get back in we have a situation," we looked at each other, wonderin' if Abra had maybe caused a stir of some kind "The bitch's screamin' woke some of the villagers, I need you" I stiffened. The way he spoke about Abra, how he was so matter of fact that she was ...

I bit down on my lip to keep from yellin' n runnin' in there myself.

"You can't handle it, MJ?" One of the boys downstairs replied. There was a shot of static, and another sigh.

"Kinda busy guys, ya know?" One of the idiots snorted laughter, and from the sound of it jostled with the other, like real lads, like real fuckin' men gigglin'. I grit my teeth n swallowed hard. I was gonna find that MJ n I was gonna kill him. That much I really was sure of. I looked at Rick, whose face was crazy, mad as I felt.

"Let 'em leave," I whispered slowly so he would understand "we'll follow, I'll find Abra, you work on the goons"

"And what about everyone else in there?" Michonne asked. I shook my head. If someone screamin' panicked them enough to need more'n one person to calm them, they wouldn't be a problem. We let them go, and gave it a good few minutes before headin' out ourselves and waitin' behind the walls.

I chewed my lip as we listened to the exchange inside. Murmurs, quiet and calm. The two men, just two who were barely 20 and held their weapons like they might explode spontaneously, calmed the people inside and got them to go home. I looked at Rick, honestly confused.

"How do people like that run a whole town?" Rick dipped his head at me.

"Fear, the promise of safety, with a little authority. If you look like you know what you're doing, people will follow" I nodded, it wasn't untrue. No matter how shit I felt about somethin' if I tried to look confident Abra worked better with me.

"What do ya think?" I asked. Rick stood from his crouched position

"We go in, get Abra, go home. We did out what we can about this place from her." I narrowed my eyes at him so he explained "they're either with us or against us. Abra will know. We'll work it out from there" I nodded again. It all made sense. We could work together or fight together. It was all there was anymore.

Carl threw the gate open n Michonne n Rick headed in first, findin' the two idiots who had us 'outnumbered' just moments before. Rick grabbed one by the scruff, Colt at his temple and hissed in his ear.

"Where's MJ and Where's Abra" the guy all but pissed his pants, pointin' toward a house not far from where we stood. The only house with a light on. I stormed in the house, headed straight for the stairs. The little prick I was sure I was after stepped right into my path, n without thinkin' I grabbed him n shoved him backward into the room he came from.

My eyes fell on the bed almost instantly. She was dead, I was sure of it. She lay, prone, naked, n bleeding there. Wrists n ankles tied to the four corners, like some kind of sick bdsm had game gone wrong. Her eyes were open, wide, but she responded to nothing, at first.

Behind me, havin' followed me in, Rick n Michonne drew in a sharp breath in unison, n Michonne instantly worked on the bindin's, n then covered Abra up, as Rick tried to get a response from her.

"She's been drugged" Rick said after tryin' a moment to get her to speak, blink, roll her eyes. She did nothin'.

 I turned to the little asshole in my grip.

"What did you give her?" I asked, shakin' him lightly

"An all American 6inches, why? What you been giving her?" He laughed, smiled a genuine smile n I could have taken him out right there, but, for some reason, I waited. I wished I hadn't "I'm gonna go ahead and guess You've been giving her a bit less. She was nice and tight" I'd heard more than enough. My fist connected with his jaw before I even knew I'd curled my fingers. His head whipped back but I grabbed him by the collar and hit him again, and again, pummellin' his damned smug face until it was unrecognisable.

"Daryl" I heard vaguely beside me "Daryl stop" I turned, still holding the little surfer prick up, with one hand wrapped round his crew neck.

"What?!" Rick was glaring at me

"We need him to tell us what Abra has taken So we can let Dr Cloyd know. Ok?" I din't answer but Rick continued to glare at me "Daryl. In order to help Abra we need him alive" I think I grunted. I certainly din't say actual words, n dropped the little twerp on the floor, where he crumpled into a heap like so much tossed garbage.

I grabbed for Abra, bed covers and all, wrapped her up and threw her over my shoulder. Rick picked up the barely alive blond on the floor and hustled him out of the door. We headed for the stairs n ran out of the house. I don't know what happened out there, but none of the community had come outta their houses.

The two goons sat tied together on the floor, lookin' petrified. We left the community, headed straight for the car and for home. No one said a word as I lay Abra across the laps of Carl n Michonne n got in shotgun with Rick, who had curled up the nasty bastard in the boot. Nothin' was said n there were no questions when we got back to Alexandria n headed straight for the infirmary.

This was becoming too much of a routine for us, n things needed to change.


	10. Chapter 10

The first thing I remember was that my eyes stung. They were dry and felt crusty and sore. I blinked a few times, it didn't really help. Daryl and Michonne were there, and the doc, too. 

"She's blinkin'!" Daryl yelled, and the doctor span to look at me. I tried to speak, and my throat worked, but nothing came. Denise put her hand on my forehead and smiled. It was such a comfort. 

"Don't try and speak" she said "we have a bit of damage on your vocal chords. When you're ready you can write what you want to say. a few days, ok?" I stared at her. Vocal damage? Now I thought about it my throat also felt sore and scratchy. What the hell?

Daryl's face was a picture of hurt and anger. I wondered what had happened to get me here to the infirmary. I looked around, meeting Michonne's eyes. They were sad. I tried a soft smile, and she smiled back. It didn't meet her sad eyes. I reached out my hand and touched Daryl's knee. He placed his hand in mine but I shook him off. I just wanted his attention. He looked at me and I made the sign of writing, with my empty hand.   
I was given a pencil and a pad, So I asked some questions. 

I could vaguely remember being dragged to mikey's room, and....possibly injected? It was fuzzy. Apparently I had been beaten, raped, and screamed enough to bruise my my own throat, even as Mikey throttled me.   
The doctor found me a mirror when I asked and I saw the huge purple fingerprints around my neck.   
Daryl tried to ask me what the community was like, but I ignored him, consistently underlining my final question.  
' _Where is MJ_?'  
He looked away. I wrote again.   
_DEAD?_  
Daryl shook his head. Michonne piped up

"He's in the cell. He's in bad shape. But he keeps threatening you Abra." I nodded, scribbling on my pad. I was worn out, exhausted, and my writing was wonky even though the page was lined.   
I shoved the pad at Daryl, he took it, read, handed it to Michonne and stormed out of the infirmary.  
Michonne took a deep breath. 

"I'll run it past Rick" she said solemnly, placing the pad on the table beside the bed. "You get some rest."

* * *

 

The door flew open behind me, just as I was stampin' out my cigarette. I turned n saw Michonne with a face like thunder. 

"I don't like it" I said to her, n she shrugged 

"I said I'd run it by Rick, but I doubt he'll go for it." I nodded. It wouldn't do any good, anyway. That prick kept saying he wanted her dead, n it was over my dead body he was gettin' anywhere near her. 

Even if there were bars between them. 

"He better not agree" I grunted, takin' the porch steps with her. I was furious. She wanted to see him. What would that prove? We still needed to know what the community was doin' and it'd been 24 hours. We were lucky the goons hadn't followed us. Or at least sent someone else, strapped up as they were when we left. 

I sighed heavily as Michonne opened the door to their house.  
She asked him, and his answer wasn't instant. Watching his face, blue eyes staring into the middle distance, hands on hips as he thought about it. He dipped his head

"Ok" he said. I bit my lip, hard, 

"How does that help anyone?" I asked, careful to keep my voice quiet. 

"She can ask him some stuff and he might give her more honest answers. They have history." It was true, according to Mikey-Jay they'd been friends, co workers, n lovers long before the walkers. That pissed me off.

Of course Abra had history, but you don't expect to bump into it on a walk through hell. 

"Me n Abs are missin' vital time with Charlie. A lot of it. Whatever is goin' to happen needs to happen as quickly as possible. I'm sick of leavin' my kid with him not knowin' if we'll be back again." Rick raised his eyebrows at me, but he nodded

"Yeah ok, I understand" he couldn't. Lil Asskicker'd never been in the situation Charlie had. But I appreciated his acceptance, none the less. Me n Abra were gonna hafta start stayin' home more often.   
Whether she liked it or not.

* * *

 

I asked to see Charlie, and everyone said no. I tapped the pencil against the pad as they explained how I'd scare him, I looked hurt and I couldn't talk after being outside. I looked at the ceiling with a huff and wrote

_'He needs to learn its dangerous'_

"He knows well enough!" Daryl answered my written note. "I don't want him seein' you like this. I don't wanna see you like this. Goddammit Abra!" He stamped his foot, standing. "You've seen yaself. Jesus Christ. You've been raped n almost murdered, ya can't fuckin' talk, n ya act like it's just another day in the life Of Abra Reid" I looked away from him, chewed my cheek and tapped my fingers on the pad.

Without warning Daryl grabbed the pad from my blanketed lap and threw it across the room.

"You gotta start listenin'" he said into my upturned and no doubt shocked face. I rearranged my features to frown at him, furious, I hated being made jump, I hated him angry at me in this way when I couldn't argue back, even more.   
I worked on talking, felt the muscles inside my neck scream with pain. He watched me, curious I guess for what I was going to say. 

"Fuck.... You" I managed, a dry rasp, barely even a whisper, but he shook his head at me. 

"I ain't doin' this no more Abra. I ain't havin' this. You'll see, eventually. No more runs, nor strangers, no more hospital beds. Ya pullin' yaself to pieces n for what? We've gained nothin from your little stunt." He stomped off, out to smoke I guessed.

I chewed on my cheek, threw my pencil across the room and grunted, frustrated. Denise appeared and handed me back my pencil.

"Don't break the lead in that, we don't have many"

* * *

 

It was a couple days before she got to see her friend. She was Talkin' more, able to move round. I took her too him, so she would feel safe. Michonne came too, I guess so I wouldn't kill the bastard. 

"Mikey?" She whispered as we walked in that damn cell, her voice a croak in the stillness of the half finished property.

He turned, all battered n bruised in his face. He din't look sorry, he din't look guilty, he just looked like the little prick that had beat her half to death and filled her veins with fuckin' roofies.

"Why?" She asked as he faced her. She din't sound upset at the state of him. I suppose I could understand the question, but it wouldn't a been the one I asked him. 

"I said I'm sorry" he lisped, still not used to living minus the two teeth I'f knocked out of his mouth. 

"Yeah. You did. I'm not asking for an apology. You can shove your apology up your ass" I snorted, n Michonne shot me a look. Abra held her hand over her mouth n coughed, too much talkin' too soon, but we needed to get this done so we could finish the whole problem off. 

"I asked why" she wiped her hand on her jeans, I noticed blood but din't say nothin' the doctor said she might bleed a little. 

"I loved you" the little prick said. "I loved you n you hurt me" Abra was shakin her head, I was about fit to shake the douche she was talkin' to. 

"No you didn't. You used me until I was all dried up and continued to use me even as I deflated. Don't bullshit me. Why the hell did you drug me and abuse me like that? Was that your plan all along?" I narrowed my eyes, interested now. Wanting to hear what the shitbag had to say for himself.

He sighed and looked up to the ceiling like a woman about to cry, I half expected him to wave his hands in front of his damn eyes. 

"I knew you were lying, about having people. And, no one lies to me Abra, Not even you. I have 100 people relying on me to keep them safe. I may be a little underhand, I admit, but I keep them safe." He gestured at me n Michonne "when your friends turned up it was the last straw. I was gonna take you hostage" Abra hacked into her hand again, but looked Mikey straight in the eyes. 

"Underhand is one word for it. How many people you really killed Mikey-Jay?" He shrugged, I looked at Abra 

"You asked him the questions?" She nodded but didn't look away

"Yeah. How many MJ?" I was impressed she'd used some sense at least. 

"I don't know" he said resignedly. "Enough so that no one realised what we were doing." He finally looked directly back at Abra "then you come along... I never expected you. How the hell was I suppose to kill you, Abs?" She didn't answer for a moment, n none of us realised at all why she wanted to come in here.

I noticed her hand at her hip, her tshirt tucked behind the hand of her knife on one side and the gun on the other. I wasn't fast enough to stop it, Michonne weren't either, 

"You should have" she said, in the clearest voice she could muster, n whipped her gun out in a second flat, shootin' Mikey directly in the centre of his head.

Though she was already bruised, n hurt, Michonne n I tackled her to the floor. 

But she was lightnin', n we were thunder. 

Light travels faster than sound. 


	11. Chapter 11

We all lay on the floor panting. I was on my front, Daryl on my back holding my arms behind me, Michonne sitting on my legs. As if I was strong enough to kick up a fuss and push them off. I wasn't strong enough for anything. My throat ached and the bruises on my thighs and between my legs were singing under Michonne's weight.

I coughed, blood droplets spewing from my mouth. It was disgusting but I had no hands with which to cover myself.

I craned my neck and looked up to see Mikey-Jay lying in front of me face down. The exit wound in his head was the size of my fist, splitting his hair like a false crown, the blonde mottled with the red and pink of brain matter. Behind him, on the wall, an abstract artwork of blood, brain and bone.  
I put my head back down, left ear to the floor.

"Let me up?" I asked in the nasty rasp I thought I might be left with forever. I felt the bodies on top of me shift a little, but neither actually released me. I wriggled my shoulders, and Daryl's grip actually tightened on my wrists. I swallowed hard. Maybe they were all just in shock. I was in shock. I didn't plan to kill MJ. It was just one of those things.

"Talk to me" I tried instead, not enjoying the silence, and MJ's dead body taunting me with all the things we never said to each other, and all the things we had. All the places he'd touched me so softly, and all the bruises I couldn't even remember him giving me.

"What the hell were you _thinking_?" Michonne hissed. I couldn't answer. What could I say when I wasn't thinking at all, but acting on impulse as I had now for so many years?  
I felt her weight shift again, and she got off me, coming around the front so I could see her. Daryl just sat atop me, his weight bearing down on the middle of my back, his grip tight as a vice on my wrists.

"He didn't give us anything" Michonne said, looking at me but gesturing to Mikey.

"He didn't need to" I whispered as loud as I could. "I have everything we need" I wriggled my shoulders again. "Can I please get up, you're hurting me"

  
"Ya gonna do anythin' else stupid?" Daryl asked in a harsh tone. I shook my head, saving what little voice I had left for more important words. Things that needed to be said, to be done. He got off and I sat cross legged on the floor. I looked up at him and his face was like thunder, all screwed up and confused.  
"Why'd ya kill him?" He asked me, and I shook my head again. It wasn't important why, and no one would understand. Why does anyone kill anyone, I thought to myself. To survive.

Daryl was watching my every move, narrow eyed, his mouth a thin straight line. I rubbed my left wrist with my right hand and stared right back at him, the tendons creaked as I massaged them, he'd pay for that later.

"You c'n clean that up" Daryl said, pointing to the mess I had made of MJ and the wall. I shrugged at him, sure. Whatever. "Ya gonna tell us what this is about or what?" Daryl asked me, and I chewed my cheek, then I place a hand on my throat gently, he got the picture and nodded. "Maybe later" he grunted, sitting in front of me on the floor, crossing his legs with his knees in the air, folding his arms around them as though to hold them there. He looked at me for a long time.

* * *

She weren't who I thought she was. What I thought she was. The broken, small, frail creature in another man's bed was gone. Sitting in front of me was a badass bitch with an agenda I couldn't contemplate. When she whipped out her gun I actually thought she might turn it on herself. That's how sickly she seemed. The pieces of her thrown apart n scattered. Maybe they were still.

That's why I tackled her to the floor. I don't know about Michonne, but I was workin' in that instant to save Abra from herself.

"They're free now" Abra was rubbin' her wrists n eyein' me suspiciously, makin' a big drama like she liked. I weren't grippin' her that tight. I raised my eyebrows at her,

"Who?" She put her hands in her lap n looked at them like they were the most interestin' things she'd ever laid eyes on.

"His group. They..." She coughed into her palm. "They're sheltered, and they're naive, but they were never really safe with that prick" her voice got quieter n quieter the more she talked. She sighed heavily, "He wanted our shit. He would kill to get it. I did what had to be done and I reckon I've saved about 120 lives by wasting just one." She shook her head n smiled at me. She rubbed her throat, so I stood n I grabbed her arm to help her stand too.

"Glass a water?" I asked her, n she nodded.

I hoped she was right. I hoped by wasting one son of a bitch she'd save many more, for her own sake. I din't care. I din't know these people n I sure as hell din't think we should be runnin' round savin' peoples asses no more. But Abra wanted to. N the hope in her was so strong, so infectious. I couldn't help but want her to have everythin' she desired. I looked at her in the sunlight as Michonne locked the cell behind us. She was still beautiful n strong, I mean shit, she'd been through Hell n back n back to Hell again.

  
But everythin' she wanted could wait one more night. At least.

* * *

I woke up with a start in the middle of the night, sweat oozing from every pore in my skin. I pushed off the covers that clung to my body and let the light breeze from the open window cool my wet, hot, skin.  
I reached for the lamp, but noticing the small lump on the floor, decided against it.  
Charlie was sleeping there, having crept in completely soundlessly. His favourite blanket wrapped around his little body. I guessed he came in to see that we were really here an weren't going anywhere.  
As I watched he opened an eye very slowly and looked at me.

"Mom?" I held my hands out to him,

"Wanna get in with me and dad?" I asked him, and he nodded his head very slowly.

"Y'all purple" he said matter of factly, climbing onto the bed and snuggling into me so I could curl my body protectively around him.

"Yeah. I've not had the best few days. When I went out I met some nice people, and some not very nice people." I kissed the top of his blonde head and put my arm around him "The not nice people are gone now" I said to him, leaning in and inhaling the clean bubble bath smell of him. "Mmmmm you smell like strawberries" he giggled and wriggled to get me off him.

"Ya sound funny" I nodded and looked down at him in my arms

"Yeah. The bad men made me a bit poorly." He thought about that, then hugged the arm I had around his middle.

"Maybe ya c'n stay home then" he said yawning. "Just 'til ya better" I stayed quiet, he turned to me "You have to go again" not a question, a statement. I nodded

"'Fraid so buddy. But what me n dad are trying to do is make it safe out there, then, when we go, you can come too. And it'll be me, you and dad, and there might be monsters, the walkers, but there won't be mean people. Everyone will be on the same side and everyone will be our friends." I heard a snort beside me. My lightly sleeping friend had probably woken before I had. I nudged him and hissed a 'shhh' out the corner of my mouth.

We all lay in silence a while, and as Charlie's breathing became soft and regular Daryl turned to me,

"You think that's why you do it?" He asked softly, careful not to wake the sleeping kid in my embrace, even if he did sleep like the dead. I frowned a question at him, and he looked down, then up again. "Makin' the world safer for Charlie. That what you're tryin'a do?" I shrugged, as best I could, and nodded a little. I watched his eyes, which crinkled as a corner of his mouth turned up. "Won't ever be safe" he said, belying his smile. "But I think I get it" I smiled, leaned forward, and kissed his mouth firmly. As I pulled away he still looked very serious.  
"We put it to people that way, you'll come up against less resistance, less obstacles." He rolled on to his back "you put it that way to me we might'a had less arguments"

"If _you_ weren't so argumentative wed'a had less arguments" I said pushing at his shoulder with mine. He snorted quietly again, and just stared at the ceiling for a while.

It was so much later that he spoke again, I wasn't sure if it was a half dream, a trick of my mind.

"I'm always with ya. I mightn't agree n I might argue, but... Ya mean the world. You n Charlie both"


	12. Chapter 12

I shrugged a light jacket on over my simple long sleeved tshirt and cargo pants. We were preparing for the run to the new community, Daryl, me, Rick, Michonne and Glenn.  I was nervous, excited, I bounced from foot to foot stretching out my legs after so long not being able to do much with my injuries. Denise had given me the all clear to go, but daryl still fussed.

"I killed their leader, it's the least I can do to tell them why" I said to him as he scowled at me, all greasy bangs and narrow eyes. he chewed on his bottom lip and I cocked my head at him.  "Say I killed Maggie, or Glenn, or Rick or Michonne. You'd want me to be the one standing up to it, admitting it, wouldn't you?" He snorted at that, and it was my turn to narrow my eyes.

"Mmhmm, Michonne, Glenn, Rick? I don't think you'd manage that" I rolled my eyes at him and bumped him with my elbow.

"Don't challenge me, Dixon." I smiled, joking, but his eyes just narrowed even farther. He took my elbow gently and steered me out of the bedroom, wanting to get this whole thing over and done with. I could tell he didn't want to go, didn't want to open up to these strangers, but I had an idea it wouldn't be half as bad as he expected. These people were worse than the Alexandrians we encountered when we first arrived, following Aaron with our feet barely lifting from the floor.

We jogged down the stairs, and straight out the door. We'd discussed the trip at length, and we knew exactly what we were going to do.

Rick had asked me a lot of questions, mostly around my tour of the place, and what I had or had not seen. He seemed satisfied that they were naïve and sheltered people. I couldn't understand what Daryl's problem with this was, and suspected he was only coming because he was told he was.

We were taking the bike, which pleased me greatly. Getting to cling to Daryl unashamedly was a rare highlight which I took great joy in. His big, broad shoulders protecting me from the wind as it rushed past us, my arms curled around his not inconsiderable chest. My hands barely touching fingers.

As we rode through the early morning, sun just kissing the sky, I contemplated the people in this new community. the possibilities were almost endless. trading, working together to make the most of this new life. I smiled to myself, this could be a wonderful thing.

* * *

I pulled over where we had stopped before n stashed the bike, not wantin' to be makin' too much noise on reachin' this community. We din't wanna sneak up on 'em as such, but a quiet entrance would make for less panic.

"Can you smell that?" Abra said as I covered the bike in the overgrowth. I stood, sniffed the air, n shrugged my shoulders. It just smelt like burnin'. It wasn't a new or strange smell, it was pretty common now.

"'S'fire, so?" I huffed at her, annoyed that we were back here. Returnin' to the scene of the crime was never a good idea., n those two goons would still be runnin' 'round pissed at us for tyin' 'em up, n now Abra was gonna confess to killin' their leader. I'd rather'a been anywhere but there in that moment. Abra din't have as much information 'bout those people as she seemed to think she did, unless there was somethin' she hadn't told me, n we were none the wiser if they were dangerous, stupid, or both. I shrugged at her, n she sniffed a long deep breath.

"No" her face creased up and she crinkled her nose a little. "It's something... There's something not right about it" I heaved my crossbow onto my back n started walkin' forward, ignorin' her need for somethin' always to be happenin', or wrong, or different.

"'S'just a fire. Cmon" I heard her little light steps catchin' up to me, n then she fell to my pace as we headed into this great unknown. This great wide expanse of who-the-fuck-knows... I sniffed the air, n realised Abra was right, it smelled like burnin' rubber, n meat, n hair. I stopped walkin', n he stopped in the same instant, turnin' to me.

"Walkers?" She asked, but I shook my head. Walkers also carried their rotting flesh smell into the air, n nothin' smelled like that here. All I could place perfectly was burnin' tyres. A heavy feelin' settled in my gut as we continued walkin', the walls just now barely visible, large n blue n hulkin'against the peachy coloured sky.

"Holy shit!" I heard beside me, n suddenly Abra was dartin' forward, long legs takin' her away from me quickly though she weren't at full pelt.

"Hey!" I yelled, runnin' after her, feelin' clumsy just watchin' her elegance. She pulled up suddenly n I nearly crashed into her back. "What...?" I started, but I saw it as I regained my composure. Cars, God knew how many, scattered among the derelict houses here outside the walls, all aflame. They weren't there before, the streets had been empty.

She looked at me as if to say I told you so, n I was all set to shoot her down when the knockin' started.

* * *

 

 "They're in the boot!" I yelled over the sound of the flames, trying to get close but the fire was too hot, it felt like my skin was melting.

The sound was unreal. Rather than the crackle and pop of wood this was a whooshing thundering noise. Like a waterfall, but fiercer.

I felt Daryl pulling at me as I managed to edge ever closer. He grabbed my arm but the sweat, brought on by the intense heat, had his hand slipping, so he grabbed the back of my jacket. I was vaguely aware of him yelling, but all I could hear were the flames, and the knocking, becoming more panicked the longer it went on.

Time is said to slow down, but everything sped up in a rush, I reached forward for the boot lid, and suddenly everything came shooting into vivid clarity.  
"...Explode!" I heard Daryl yell as he finally got some semblance of grip and yanked me backwards into him. I crashed into his chest and he wrapped his arms around me, turning us both away from the cars, shielding me with his body.  
He stumbled, holding me tight in front of him, leading us away. Suddenly he let me go and huffed  
"Run" in my ear. I looked back, but he took my hand and ran, I could do nothing but go with him. I could see Rick, Glenn and Michonne ahead of us, Daryl yelled at them too, and then it happened.

The explosion was a mix of booms, shattering glass, tyres bursting, and a searing wave of warmth caressed my skin before Daryl threw us to the ground and we rolled as a single unit, ending up with him on top of me, covering my body, crushing me into the dusty Asphalt.

There were more, smaller, blasts before the world suddenly went quiet. 

Daryl got up, pulling me with him, checking me over. I was ok, a little road rash, and holes in my pants, but ok. He seemed to have come off worse, bleeding from grazes in his shoulders, knuckles, and his crossbow seemed to have dug into his right hip.

"Daryl" we looked up, Rick was approaching, fast, and he looked worried. "Was that for us?" Daryl shook his head

"Nah, they won't have known we were comin'" I looked between them both as Glenn and Michonne finally appeared, both looking stressed.

"There were people in those cars." I said, still shocked "and there must've been a lot of gas for them to go up like they did" I shook my head, ears still ringing slightly from the explosion. "Who... Why...?" I couldn't form what I wanted to say, I wanted to know who the hell would do such a thing and why the hell they'd do this, this way. Then it hit me, noise, smell, light. "Walkers" I whispered, like a revelation, and instantly we all headed for on of the nearby derelict houses. 


	13. Chapter 13

I listened to the shower runnin' full pelt behind the bathroom door. My head restin' on it, sittin' on the floor with my knees on the crooks of my elbows.

She'd been in there over an hour now, n I din't have the heart to tell her to stop. I din't have the heart to tell her she was clean as she could possibly get n to quit wastin' water.

 

> _"What the hell have you dragged us in to?" We'd just got in to the relative safety of one'a the houses when Rick turned on Abra. I watched her jaw clench as she refused to shrink away from him, as she fought to stand tall. He edged forward gettin' in her space, n I found myself movin' in too.  
>  _
> 
> _"Hey" I said quietly to him, not a warnin', just a gentle reminder who he was talkin' to. Abra held her hand up to me, 'I'm ok' that hand said, but the set of her face said somethin' altogether different.  
>  _
> 
> _"You bring us here, endanger our lives, get yourself half killed..." Rick stopped and leaned back a little, cockin' his head n narrowin' his eyes at her. "And what for? To get blown to pieces?" Abra jutted her chin out but said nothin', she kept her shoulders back n her head up, but she still grit her teeth.  
>  _
> 
> _"I didn't know" she said simply, with conviction. "If Mikey Jay's buddies did this then the people in there need our help more than ever now" Rick's mouth became a thin straight line, he straightened up.  
>  _
> 
> _"Is it those people you're trying to save, or some personal vendetta you can't quite accomplish alone?" She opened her mouth to speak, but Rick cut her off_  
>  "We have enough people relying on us, we don't have the time or the resources to solve your personal woes. We have children"
> 
> _"Exactly" I burst, cuttin' him short. "Abra's doin' this to get more people on the same side, more people workin' together so the kids'a got some sorta future to look forward to" Rick looked at Abra, then turned his head to me.  
>  _
> 
> _"That true?" He addressed her directly again.  
>  _
> 
> _"Yes" she nodded "Rick I know it's dangerous, and I know how it looks, MJ was a terrible coincidence, that's all. I didn't know there'd be people out here in burning vehicles, good god I'd have never brought us here knowingly!" She lowered her voice "You were willing enough to come and see. So come, see" Rick looked around at the rest of us. He was enthusiastic about helping out others, n I think the talk'a the littlun's futures struck a chord, because we were soon making new plans on how to get in without gettin' blown up ourselves._

Some plan, I thought, bangin' my head back against the locked bathroom door. Steam poured out through the spaces between the frame and the door.  
I imagined her in there, scrubbin' herself raw, burnin' n red under the boilin' water. Wearin' the sponge to a nub of useless nothin'. I sighed.

 

> _"Happy now?" She asked me, quietly, when it was over. No conviction or anger, just words fallin' from her mouth like she had let 'em tumble. N then she walked away, Arms hangin' at her sides, no bounce in her step no life in her movements. Hair ringin' wet with sweat n blood._  
>  _She was dejected, n in turn she had rejected me._  
>  _She got in the car with Rick, Michonne and Glenn, all in the same bloody mess, all just as depressed after not findin' the promised gold behind those gates._  
>  _All there was, was walkers._  
>  _I rode home to Alexandria alone, missin' her arms 'round me, the feel of her breath, the beat of her heart against my back_.

The shower shut off n the silence that rang out was broken by her soft sobbin', n I knew nothin' I could say or do would stop her tears. They had to dry up on their own.  
I don't think anythin' I said would'a got through, anyway.  
She was convinced I'd found exactly what I expected. What I wanted.  
But I was as dejected as her, wantin' so much for her to be right for her own sake. Wantin' her to have what she hoped for. That was all I needed now, for Abra n Charlie to be safe n have the things they desired in life.  
But she wouldn't even look at me, so I couldn't tell her that. It was hard to tell if she was blamin' me, or blamin' herself.

* * *

 

> _I tapped on the gate with the heel of my hand, it rattled loudly like I'd kicked it or pushed it, the sound reverberating over the whole sheet of metal. I hoped that I was right, I hoped that Daryl would change his mind. Goddammit even if he didn't agree he could support my mentality, couldn't he? Everyone else did._
> 
> _When nothing happened for a long minute I nearly knocked again, but that wasn't part of the new plan. Instead I pulled the gate open an inch myself, peering in.  
>  Then the yelling started. My name, _
> 
> _"open the gate!" I heard Rick shouting, and as I peered through I was faced with a whole hoard of walkers. My heart stopped, my breathing stopped, then everything sped up, and Brian and Roberto were reaching for me, pushing their grey fingers through the gate._  
>  _I think I screamed, but with no breath it may have just been a grunt._
> 
> _The tip of Michonne's sword appeared through Roberto's head, as he fell she beheaded Brian and yanked open the gate  
>  _
> 
> _"Get in here, and help" she said to me, urgent but not shouting._
> 
> _So I did. I killed the people I came to help, the people I thought could help us, and all the time I was crying angry and frustrated tears. They blurred my vision but I stabbed and slashed as best I could, wielding a weapon in each hand as I had taught myself to_.
> 
> _It wasn't until the last of the humans in this place turned up that it got really serious, though.  
>  _
> 
> _Three women and a man, whose names I never learned, appeared at the doorway of a house. I turned to them, stopping for a just a millisecond before battering a walker away from me so I could look some more.  
>  _
> 
> _They stood there looking out from the porch like it was some kind of play we were putting on.  
>  _
> 
> _Daryl yelled my name, I turned and downed a walker who was already open mouthed and reaching for my flesh. When I turned back they'd gone from the doorway, but the door stood open still._
> 
> _I didn't have time to ponder on it, though, as the rest of the town were ambling and grunting and needed putting down._

I shut off the shower. My skin sang, nerve endings battered by the heat and my incessant scrubbing. I still felt dirty. The grime and muck had washed away, but there was still blood on my hands.

I wrapped a towel around my steaming body and opened the medicine cabinet above the sink. Charlie's toothbrush fell out, clattering against the sink, and the tears started again.

 

> _I stood, breathing heavily, taking a moment, just a small moment, for myself, hands on my knees. Had I caused this? By coming here and trying to be some kind of vigilante?_
> 
> _I stood again, ready to battle on through 100 walkers with the only people who ever should have mattered. I lifted my machete as a walker neared, then I felt hands at my back, and I was shoved forward into the walker's path. A bolt appeared in its head, and without thinking I turned and stabbed the person who shoved me. One of the women from the doorway. One of the people I so desperately wanted to save._
> 
> _I saw red, and I've only a vague idea what happened next. Her friends were yelling and screaming, One even began to approach Glenn, grabbing his arm, and somehow, as she dug in her nails and broke his skin, I managed to kill all three of them._
> 
> _Don't ask me how, I've no idea what was going through my mind._
> 
> _With that done I noticed the walkers were also losing their battle with us, Michonne and Glenn catching their breath, Glenn rubbing the sore point on his arm, as Rick stabbed the last walker through the chin and into the head._
> 
> _I stormed from the little community with Daryl on my heels. When I turned to him he said nothing, so I asked if he was happy now. Still he said nothing._
> 
> _Nothing at all._


	14. Chapter 14

When I finally had the courage to leave the bathroom and face all my mistakes the house was empty. Relieved, I headed to get dressed in the bedroom, I pulled the towel from my head and looked at myself in the mirrored door of the closet.

The first traces of gray were starting to show, silvery and sparkling, in my almost bicep length chocolate locks. I sighed, and used the towel to rough dry the ends. I wanted to go back. Not just a week or a month, but back years, before the world fell to pieces. 

That would mean no Charlie, no Daryl. The friends I'd made... The life we'd made for ourselves.  
But still. Wasn't life better before? 

I turned to the bed, reaching for the bedside drawers. There on top glittering in the sun coming in through the window was the ring Daryl had given me. I'd not had it on since the day I was found, accidentally on purpose lost, by MJ and his cronies. I sighed again, putting the ring on my finger. I'd missed the weight of it there.

Maybe this life wasn't all bad. I just had to stop making stupid rash decisions. 

I heard the front door open, and Charlie's excited babbling drifted up the stairs. Of course, Daryl had gone to get him from school. I had been so caught up in my own shit...   
I threw on some clothes without thinking and headed for the stairs, taking a deep breath.

* * *

 

"Mom!" Charlie yelled as she descended the stairs looking like shit. Her shirt was on backward and her hair hung wet all around her. 

"Hey" she managed a small smile and took him in a hug. "You hungry? Do you want a snack?" Charlie shook his head 

"Maggie gave us home work, dad said I gotta do it before dinner. Im'ma go upstairs." He dashed off. Such a well behaved kid. I'd asked Maggie to give him some work to do when he got home, me n Abra really needed to talk.

"Homework?" She raised an eyebrow at me, n I shrugged at her.

"Maggie's the school marm, who'm I to argue?" She shrugged back and sat down on the couch "ya shirt's inside out" I said, not sittin' but removin' my vest and flingin' it on an armchair. She pulled at the neck of her top but didn't seem bothered. 

"We need to talk" she said to me. I nodded

"Yeah" I sat on the coffee table in front of her, chewin' my lip n wonderin' where to start. 

"I'm sorry" she said, not lookin' at me. "I was wrong. So wrong." She shook her head. 

"Wait" I said, n she looked up at me, finally, confused. "C'n I go?" She nodded.

"Ok"

"Look" I leaned forward "I'm not gonna say I knew what was gonna happen, N I ain't gonna pretend I care. You n Charlie are safe, that's what matters" she opened her mouth but I held up my hand to stop her interruptin'. "Look, if ya wanna find people, that's fine, maybe I c'n go out with Rick, n maybe we find a more promisin' future for the kids." She smiled weakly at me, "I'm sorry, too, Abra, really. I want ya to be happy," her eyes widened but she din't say anythin'. I kinda hoped she would. I din't have anythin' else to say myself.   
"I'm sorry ya had to see that today. I'm sorry ya had to do what ya did. That, that, happened. But I can't protect ya from that shit if ya gonna go runnin' off on ya own" I looked at her "don't make me go on" she smiled, finally, n I felt myself smilin' back.

"Ok" she said, still smilin' a little. She pushed her hair from her head n I noticed she wore her ring again. I coughed, a pathetic effort to clear my throat, n took her hands which lay loose in her lap.

* * *

 

"Ya ever think again 'bout gettin' hitched?" He asked me, taking my hands, which drowned in his much larger ones. I looked up at him, shocked, dumbfounded. He gave that stupid little cough again and avoided my eyes. I squeezed his hands and he looked at me, all dark blue narrow eyes and baited breath. 

"Maybe" I managed. 

"Maybe?" He asked, gruff, quiet. 

"Yeah. I mean. You know" I shrugged "I could call myself Abra Dixon, I guess. I could maybe... I dunno, introduce you as my husband to all those new people you and Rick find" he smirked at that, squeezing and then dropping my hands

"I said maybe" he got up, stretched, looked down at me. I shrugged.

"Yeah" I answered, standing as well. "So did I" he raised an eyebrow at me, looking up from beneath his bangs, all coy and sexy

"Abra Dixon" he said "sounds good" he turned for the kitchen, as if that was it, as if we were done. I narrowed my eyes and followed him.

* * *

 

"So, what now?" She asked, as if she expected more. I shrugged, leanin' against the counter top.

"Well, noone's expectin' us for dinner tonight, not after the day you had." She frowned "ya know what I mean" she scratched her head n looked at me with her head cocked. 

"No, I mean... What now?" She said pointedly. "You know. Is that it? Are we married?" I shrugged, not sure I was comfortable with the whole thing. 

"Well, if ya wan' it then, sure" I turned away, ran the cold tap n filled a glass with water. I felt her arms creep around me n tried not to stiffen. Her lips found the back of my neck, where she kissed me softly.

"Yeah, I think I do" she whispered against my skin. I turned 'round n she reached up, movin' my hair from my eyes. Then she lifted her self onto her toes n pressed her lips against mine. I put a hand around her waist, n one in her hair n pulled her into me, 

"Eeeeew what're you doin'?!" Came from the door way, n Abra pulled away, a little red, but whether flustered from the kiss or embarrassed I din't know. She turned to Charlie. 

"Hey, bud, you're as quiet on your feet as daddy, aren't you?" Charlie's face was disgusted and amused at once. 

"You was kissin'" he made a face like he might be sick, n I put my arms around Abra from behind

"You'll understand when ya older, kiddo" he frowned at me "believe me, you'll be all grown up n meet a nice girl, n fall in love" he made that face again

"Eeeeew no" he stomped off up the stairs mutterin' about how gross we were. Abra turned to me with an eyebrow raised. 

"Did you just say you love me?" She asked, looking stunned. 

"You know I do" I said, 

"I don't think you ever said that before" I shrugged at her, 

"I must've" she shook was her head. 

"Mmmmno" She smiled coyly, puttin' her hands in my hair once more "say it again" she whispered. I leaned forward, puttin' my forehead against hers. I looked her in the eye, n she smiled

"I love you" I Whispered. 


End file.
